Boundaries in relationships.
Physical boundaries vs. emotional boundaries.
How to set personal boundaries.
But alas, most are probably thinking…
WTF is a boundary tho?
That’s a lot of different components for one concept.
How am I supposed to develop a self defining practice for all that?”
I get it.
It was already a self defining moment to get out of bed on time this morning.
You doin it boo. Keep going.
Pero like, why must we make things so complicated? Myself included?
WHAT ARE PERSONAL BOUNDARIES?
Boundaries help to identify when to say yes, how to say no and to take control of our life.
Once you’ve come to understand yourself enough , through experience, you will develop a set of guidelines and limits to protect yourself from being manipulated, violated by others and knocked off your path to success.
There’s nothing wrong with opening yourself up to people and developing new relationships. That’s encouraged and kind of like the point to obtaining and maintaining happiness.
Connecting with others.
But the goal is to create HEALTHY relationships while staying true to yourself.
Wax on. Wax off.
Personal boundaries allow you to say ‘no’ and standing firm on your beliefs. When personal boundaries are solidified it becomes easier to identify people and situations who don’t have your best interest at heart.
The people who manipulate you so they can use you to get what they want.
The idea is to maintain and feed the relationships that are mutual and reciprocate healthy concepts and behaviors.
HOW TO SET HEALTHY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
Holding personal boundaries makes it easier to stay true to your values and to get back on course when distracted.
First and foremost understand that you have the RIGHT to develop and enforce your personal boundaries to anyone.
You are an amazing soul and need to understand that people should not make you feel like you’re compromising your beliefs or dimming your light just to make them happy or feel more comfortable.
People who love you want to see you happy and will respect any limit or personal boundary you place on the relationship.
Pinpoint the behaviors you personally find unacceptable
Getting to know oneself come with experience.
Through our experiences we learn SO MUCH about what bullshit we won’t put up with.
Identify those suckers and keep letting people know if they’ve crossed that very line you remember made you feel lesser than your best self.
If you told your home girl Gina to stop texting your boyfriend and she comes up with excuses not too… just saying… she may not really be yo home girl.
There are 7.63 billion people in the world.
We can ALL find someone who will recognize and respect our personal boundaries. Because they actually give a fuck and would love to see us happy.
Oh they out there.
Don’t be lazy.
Stand firm in your beliefs.
It’s really really easy to doubt yourself and find your voice in a world full of others just trying to do the same thing.
It can get mad loud. Like really really loud.
Don’t become so planted in your beliefs that you can’t entertain different ideas or concepts but know yourself enough to be truthful when something does or doesn’t work for you.
Don’t trip if your best friend likes going out to bars all the time and you enjoy staying home reading a book or watching movies.
It’s possible to maintain relationships that involve totally different interests
It’s about finding how to meet somewhere in the middle.
Our differences are what makes us the same
And if it just doesn’t work and you find there’s just too much friction for it to be worth the struggle… it’s okay to let it go. And to let it go with love.
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yo. Nothing will have you humble and reflect on yourself more than a relationship.
It’s finding a balance that works for you and other person.
And sometimes… it just don’t work.
Other times, the super dope ass times where you just fucking connect… it does work.
But even when we clearly see that it’s not going to work, why the fuck do we hold on tooth and friggin nail to relationships that bring us nothing but pain and negativity?
I’m guilty. I’ve done it.
A few times.
But I’m hard headed.
I finally began to ask myself.
What am I willing to put up with?
How can I tell if a relationship is worth investing in?
With all that experience… the tears, the pain the anxiety…
I began to apply it to future relationships and friendships. I began to identify red flags and behaviors that I knew were going to lead up to a no bueno situation.
They would be a lot of work. I would feel like I was walking on egg shells. Holding back because I didn’t want to cause friction or make the other person feel back.
Healthy relationships are supposed to motivate you and help you grow.
Relationships are an extension of who we are and what personal boundaries and belief systems we have enforced within ourselves. They do not define us. They shouldn’t make us feel lesser than our better selves. The other persona should not be taking the relationship for granted by being manipulative or disloyal.
What we tolerate is a reflection of internal personal boundaries and how we feel about ourselves. What type of treatment we feel we deserve is what we will accept and tolerate.